Avoiding Arguments

by John Jasper Alday

Photo by Getty

You are having a conversation with someone and it is going well, but, all of a sudden, he says something you utterly disagree with. What do you do? Start a fight? Point out why you think he is wrong, or try to avoid him forever? 

The answer is none of the above. Here’s why:

Everyone has different views in life

Certainly, this is a cliché, and it well deserves to be called so because it a phrase that can be difficult for some to grasp. Just because you disagree with the views of the person you are speaking with, it doesn’t mean you have to forcefully alter their views by arguing why your own view is superior than theirs. The best approach to this is to share your perspective with the person you are speaking with and explain why you think that way. This could result in a lively and fascinating discussion between two people with opposing views. Lovely, isn’t it? 

It presents an opportunity to learn

So, you disagree with his view in, say, whether it is appropriate to fart in public or not. He thinks it is totally appropriate to do so, and you think it is not. Oh my, this is a dilemma. What should you do? The best approach to this is to seek the reason behind why he thinks it is appropriate to fart in public. The answer should lead you to discovering why people think a certain way. If he gives an answer that is sensible enough to you, you might even be persuaded to start farting in public. See my point? The views of people we disagree with can be turned into a learning experience. 

We should embrace our differences, not let it divide us. 

Hypothetically speaking, let us say, you despise having pineapples on your pizza and, instinctively, you despise those who love pineapples on their pizza. As a result, you don’t interact with people who like pineapples on their pizza. Is it the right thing to do? Certainly not. It is not their fault that they like pizza with pineapples. Just because you disagree with their view on what toppings should be on their pizza, doesn’t mean you have to avoid them. Instead, you should appreciate the fact that some people like things differently because that’s what makes everyone unique. 

These are just a few of the many reasons why it is inappropriate to start a fight, or even worse, avoid someone forever for disagreeing with their opinions. The world is meant to be inhabited by people with different views - it is what makes everyone unique - in their own ways. Differences in perspectives and views should not be a cause of division among people; instead, they should be embraced, because they enable us to learn about a variety of things, ranging from one’s life experiences to why they think the way they do.